It’s October. The brilliant blush on the rose of the Brand, New School Year has faded, along with the crunchy, falling autumn leaves and now the Big Rumbling Question echoes: “What next? What should I be doing now?” I’m not sure about you, but that modal verb rattles around inside my head way more often than…well, than it should.
“Should.” Ah. That little overused word.
“Should” creates guilt. “Should” never encourages. “Should” implies lack – or scarcity of action – insinuating that what we are doing or who we fundamentally are somehow doesn’t measure up.
Measure up to what? Most often, to a fictitious, mentally conjured-up ideal with little basis in reality.
“Should” fogs up our Excited-about-Education googles and insidiously sucks us into the Trying-to-Get-it-All-Done Swamp.
Understandably, in October, the stark realization hits that there are only two months left in the whole year, and with distracting November and December holiday activities, classroom productivity in those two months can easily dwindle to one actual month’s worth of effort.
If we don’t do what we “should” do, that is.
Those of us who are Great Goal Setters hyperventilate at the thought that our Grand and Glorious Goals may not all be accomplished in 2024. Snapping at the heels of that horrible realization, the Stealthy “Should” invariably comes out in force, skulking at every turn and snarling in our thoughts, even more than in our words.
“I should get that project done. I should exercise more. I should play more with my kids. I should write that new book. I should read more. I should eat healthier, I shouldn’t watch so much TV, I should be more grateful, I shouldn’t complain so much’ – and on and on and ON.
Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, “Should” creates unnecessary drama. “Should” decreases productivity and increases overwhelm and self-pity.
Just stop the “Should.”
This month, I paid close attention to “Should.” I discovered that “Should” pokes out of the woodwork when I allow myself to feel rushed. Rushed driving to work, rushing to get home, rushing to get to bed, rushing to get weekend chores done, only to start the Rush Cycle over on Monday morning.
We rush to get to the next thing that we should do.
“Rush” and “Should” are close cousins, because when we allow ourselves to mentally or physically rush about, we feel overextended with things we should do and underproductive related to the Most Important Things in our lives. And that sense – that we have too much to do and too little time to be – germinates Should Seeds in spades.
A Eureka! moment occurred when I realized that I was actually rushing more in my mind and thoughts than in my actions.
The morning after this Earth Shattering Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious, I decided not to mentally – or physically – rush. I decided to focus on each segment of the day like I enjoy eating an orange – one delicious section at a time. As I drove to work and other drivers on the road appeared to still be mentally tucked in their beds, I reminded myself that driving (not rushing) was the activity designated for this section of my day.
When unexpected, urgent priorities surfaced at work, I reminded myself, this was the work portion of my day and unexpected “fires” will occur most days.
When I drove home in the evening in a violent thunderstorm and my plans for a fun jog shifted to an inside workout, I reminded myself that this orange segment could be as juicy as the planned jog if I rolled with it and mentally pivoted on the fly.
It’s so simple, and when I write it, it sounds almost a bit silly. But that shift in perspective – from rushing through activities to get to the next “Should” – to consciously focusing on each segment of my Daily Orange – was a game changer.
Normal, daily activities became more enjoyable. Concentration heightened. Calmness became easier to access. All because “Should” got stuck back in its skulking box, where it belongs.
Ironically, my task productivity skyrocketed. Minimizing mental rushing and “Should” unexpectedly converted stress energy into task energy.
Undoubtedly, “Should” will scamper out of the dusty corners of my mind and into the foreground again, like an ominous, crunchy cockroach that just won’t die. But this time, I will be ready to smack the “Should” before it ambushes me.
That reminds me, I really should run errands now.
Oops!
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